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M. J. Beagle

M. J. Beagle
Jack Noon, lives in Sutton, NH (since 1976); humorist; novelist; writes under pseudonym M. J. Beagle; author of fiction and nonfiction books. M.J. Beagle was Jack Noons dog that loved to hike up Mount Moosilauke with him.

New Hampshire Primer, The
M. J. Beagle
From the Book

". . .The few out of state reporters who covered New Hampshire during the 1952 primary campaign had a wonderful vacation visiting the state: breathing the clean, cool New Hampshire winter air, frolicking in snow drifts, and meeting some of the very interesting natives of the state. Also, for the first time in history they got an inkling of the full potential of expense accounts. Looking for a way to guarantee more such vacations, they wrote glowing reports of the New Hampshire primary and of how important it was. They shared secrets with other reporters and with political analysts about creative uses of expense accounts, good places to eat, and scenic spots to visit. A lot of articles and analyses about the New Hampshire primary began appearing in the national press. . . ."

". . . Franklin Pierce was by far our handsomest president. No one else has even come close. His posture was inspiring. Whether he was arguing a case in a New Hampshire courtroom during his lawyer days, in his uniform for the Mexican War, or simply standing around being nice, his posture made him a man to be noticed and remembered. His skin naturally had the golden glow of health without any need for miracle-goo, night-time applications. And he was a pretty good dresser. Clearly, by our modern standards he was thus well-qualified to be president. . . ."

". . . First get yourself elected senator or representative or governor from your home state and serve one or more terms. New Hampshire voters want to see at least this minimum level of experience. While you are in office, pay close attention to your hair, your clothing, your posture, and to staying out of jail. Practice sincerity in front of a mirror for at least half an hour every day. . . ."

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